Happy Friday Lisa. I love that ‘you are guided’ card. I certainly feel like I’m following the flow these days.
The women in my life - well my mother, who is now 82, born during WW2 and grew up in post war Edinburgh with very little as her father was shot in the war and had PTSD so could only find work as a janitor though he was a skilled carpenter. They moved around a lot. The houses were cold and some had rats that my granny would brush aside with a broom so mum could get out the door to school. Life was tough - but mum found a love for highland dancing and at just 6 years old won gold at the commonwealth games. Sadly mum never felt confident and is still quite timid. Now with pain all the time from arthritis, hearing loss, macular degeneration, debilitating asthma and COPD - she struggles on after dad passed in ‘22. She still thinks she’s not very clever and has low self worth because teachers told her that at school. She was beat up by one teacher and caned across the hands for things out of her control. I hate that she thinks so little of herself. She’s told me things that even dad never knew. She was at least happy with him for 53 years. I’d love to write her story sometime and want to encourage her to write her experiences of her childhood down for me.
I also have a birth mother - Ruth was only 14 when she gave birth to me in 1972. She and my
birth father were dating and I think loved each other. She’d lied about her age and he thought she was 16. So after being hidden away while pregnant she had me taken to foster parents after birth, but decided she wanted to keep me and so I lived with them for a few months until her family decided I should be adopted. It must have been the hardest thing - for both of them, but in particular for Ruth. I met her as an adult in about 1996 after getting in touch with social services to find my birth parents. It was amazing. She was a gentle and kind person and we looked very alike. When I met her she was pregnant with her second daughter - and my half sister Jessica arrived the day after my birthday that year. Four years later she had a son too, but this is where things take a turn - while unable to feed her son from one side she was found to have breast cancer. They gave her a month to feed Tobias before operating to remove the breast. Five years after that she was about to have reconstruction after now being clear of cancer when she was killed in a head on collision after a pheasant flew into her windscreen on the A303 (a main road but that goes through countryside). I knew her for 8 years. It wasn’t enough.
Other women I admire:
My granny - she had so much hardship and survived
My daughter - she has dealt with only recently diagnosed ADHD and still managed to get her core GCSEs and her A Levels and now is acing her apprenticeship. She is fierce!
My friend Katrina - she deals with so many medical issues and has done all her life and still manages to be an intelligent and supportive friend - she’s dealt with constant misdiagnoses and people telling her there’s nothing wrong and nearly died before she was finally diagnosed with a rare liver condition - then accused of being a drinker! (I hope she won’t mind me sharing as I am in great admiration of her).
My half sister Emily (paternal) who moved to Norway to do a broad qualification pre degree that they have there. Though her mum is Norwegian she wasn’t bilingual and so had to learn a new language and culture. She still lives there though loves it here too. She feels divided. She also lives with terrible anxiety and ADHD. Can’t wait to see her next weekend for her father’s (my birth father’s) birthday.
There are so many more strong and courageous women I know - my first client is definitely one of them. I could actually write a book about all these amazing women - maybe I will one day!
I am descended from several linages of female badassery. Powerful women who suffered as the culture became more and more patriarchal. I've been engaged in many long years of healing these lineages. In particular how to transmute the burdens of mental illness and personality disorders into gifts. Quite often when seems to be a character defect has turned out to be a gift once I engaged in some focused healing work. Sometimes what may seem like a troublesome female lineage is your most potent once you understand their history.
Happy Friday Lisa. I love that ‘you are guided’ card. I certainly feel like I’m following the flow these days.
The women in my life - well my mother, who is now 82, born during WW2 and grew up in post war Edinburgh with very little as her father was shot in the war and had PTSD so could only find work as a janitor though he was a skilled carpenter. They moved around a lot. The houses were cold and some had rats that my granny would brush aside with a broom so mum could get out the door to school. Life was tough - but mum found a love for highland dancing and at just 6 years old won gold at the commonwealth games. Sadly mum never felt confident and is still quite timid. Now with pain all the time from arthritis, hearing loss, macular degeneration, debilitating asthma and COPD - she struggles on after dad passed in ‘22. She still thinks she’s not very clever and has low self worth because teachers told her that at school. She was beat up by one teacher and caned across the hands for things out of her control. I hate that she thinks so little of herself. She’s told me things that even dad never knew. She was at least happy with him for 53 years. I’d love to write her story sometime and want to encourage her to write her experiences of her childhood down for me.
I also have a birth mother - Ruth was only 14 when she gave birth to me in 1972. She and my
birth father were dating and I think loved each other. She’d lied about her age and he thought she was 16. So after being hidden away while pregnant she had me taken to foster parents after birth, but decided she wanted to keep me and so I lived with them for a few months until her family decided I should be adopted. It must have been the hardest thing - for both of them, but in particular for Ruth. I met her as an adult in about 1996 after getting in touch with social services to find my birth parents. It was amazing. She was a gentle and kind person and we looked very alike. When I met her she was pregnant with her second daughter - and my half sister Jessica arrived the day after my birthday that year. Four years later she had a son too, but this is where things take a turn - while unable to feed her son from one side she was found to have breast cancer. They gave her a month to feed Tobias before operating to remove the breast. Five years after that she was about to have reconstruction after now being clear of cancer when she was killed in a head on collision after a pheasant flew into her windscreen on the A303 (a main road but that goes through countryside). I knew her for 8 years. It wasn’t enough.
Other women I admire:
My granny - she had so much hardship and survived
My daughter - she has dealt with only recently diagnosed ADHD and still managed to get her core GCSEs and her A Levels and now is acing her apprenticeship. She is fierce!
My friend Katrina - she deals with so many medical issues and has done all her life and still manages to be an intelligent and supportive friend - she’s dealt with constant misdiagnoses and people telling her there’s nothing wrong and nearly died before she was finally diagnosed with a rare liver condition - then accused of being a drinker! (I hope she won’t mind me sharing as I am in great admiration of her).
My half sister Emily (paternal) who moved to Norway to do a broad qualification pre degree that they have there. Though her mum is Norwegian she wasn’t bilingual and so had to learn a new language and culture. She still lives there though loves it here too. She feels divided. She also lives with terrible anxiety and ADHD. Can’t wait to see her next weekend for her father’s (my birth father’s) birthday.
There are so many more strong and courageous women I know - my first client is definitely one of them. I could actually write a book about all these amazing women - maybe I will one day!
Incredible. Amazing. Beautiful. Tragic. What amazing women! You definitely could write a book about them. Their stories are so needed in this world 🩵
Maybe I could organise an anthology?
Thank you for sharing. You’re a gem 💖✨
I am descended from several linages of female badassery. Powerful women who suffered as the culture became more and more patriarchal. I've been engaged in many long years of healing these lineages. In particular how to transmute the burdens of mental illness and personality disorders into gifts. Quite often when seems to be a character defect has turned out to be a gift once I engaged in some focused healing work. Sometimes what may seem like a troublesome female lineage is your most potent once you understand their history.