Grit, Growth and Gratitude
Flucking Flourishing Her Own Way
Community is a beautiful thing 🌟In this flucking incredible age of technology, we can share and talk and laugh in the blink of an eye, with almost anyone on the planet. I love that!
In the spirit of building community with a focus on flourishing, flucking fantastically, here is another community member, Deb, who writes Night Shift Writings. She describes herself like this:
Your internet friend, the unmarried, child-free pet lady.
A long-time pet mama who helps other pet owners stay within their budget; whatever that budget looks like.
Your assistant who helps you put your life back together again after you’ve experienced a loss in your life, whether it’s a death in the family, or a general purpose upheaval, or something in between.
Your friend who, cheerfully and without harshly judging, teaches younger adults the practical ‘adulting’ skills that their parents or schools never got around to teaching them for whatever reason, such as ‘how to cook healthy meals’, ‘how to bake’, ‘how to use a slow cooker’, ‘how to grow your own food’, ‘how to quickly keep a clean house’, ‘how to live rural’ and more.
Last but not least, you may find it easier to understand my writing, teaching, and storytelling style, by keeping in mind that I learned the bulk of my storytelling & teaching skills from an entertainer, a man with the gift of gab, who told stories and played music in bars around the world. So, bearing with me if I get a tad long-winded, will get you to where you’re going with me eventually.
I hope this helps!
Without further ado, here is Deb’s take on digging deep and Flucking Flourishing.
Grit & gratitude is an inside job.
Hi! Welcome to The Night Shift. It’s about 3AM on a Monday as I begin to write this article. As always, my two dogs are snoozing on the big dog bed to my left; my three cats are snoozing on my workbench at my right. I’m in the middle, with a cup of coffee.
My opening thought is that it is not easy to be female in this world, and especially one without a whole lot of resources or support. You’ve got to have..something strong inside of you..to make it through.
We’ve all had those times where lots of things just plain do not go right. Pets are fighting, one kid is sick, the school bus for the non-sick kid hasn’t shown up on time, the spousal unit has decided to inform you— just past the crack of dawn, no less, that this whole ‘family life’ thing isn’t for them after all, etc. That’s when you power and grit your way through the mess, because reasons.
Due to the Universe being nothing if not humorous, you have your things to be grateful for to lean upon in those moments as you’re powering through; say, your hair and your eyeliner came out _perfect_ just before the next few hours became not quite the picture of domestic bliss.
So it goes, too, for ideas and ideals, as you aim towards the next chapter of your life and begin to make a plan for what you actually want it to look like.
There will be ideas that you will experience gratitude for having, such as brainstorming whatever makes your life easier in your particular situation, and having the grit to actually do what you have to do to make it happen. For a lot of women, that involves squeezing the household budget to within an inch of its life so that hiring a housekeeper can be made possible.
Then again, there will be ideas that involve ‘moments where things get real..or real messy’ before they settle down again, and you power through it, and you’re grateful that it’s done and over with. Such as, for example, going to night school for a year or so, to get that certification that will help your career, and things like that that are hard and take awhile, and quite a bit of doing.
On the flip side, other ideas will absolutely positively take courage that you didn’t know that you had, and plenty of determination and just plain grit to plough through them, all before you’re absolutely silly grateful that you powered through the idea you had to its conclusion. Such as, for example, starting your own farm, from scratch, as a first-generation farmer, and your first crop selling very well at the market to the point of a wonderful profit.
One day not too long ago, I made a decision that, to some, might seem rash: for multiple reasons, I decided that I wanted to replace my truck and move to a more rural environment.
To fund all of this (and my life going forward), I elected to use the skills I have (or am further developing along the way) in an online space.
My partner is not at all sure about this, because—reasons.
I am grateful that I am in a space where I can hear an alternative point of view.
However, I am starting where I’m at, gathering the information and resources that I need to get going on the right steps and progressing as I go along. I am also grateful that I have the grit within me to do that, instead of crumpling in the face of someone else’s doubts and fears and what-have-you.
Humans indeed need change to grow and evolve. Also true, is that change can be scary. and triggering. and bring up a lot of things for folks that they don’t want to look at.
So, a lot of people, for their own reasons, refuse to change or grow or evolve, and instead, simply shut up and stay hunkered down in the ‘comfort zone’, or, the ‘fantasy for someday zone’. Somehow, they never get to where they say that they want to go.
But there are other folks who want more, and who have the daring and the guts..the determination..the grit, come what may..to go after that more, whatever it takes..and who are so grateful that, in the end, they did just that.
The way I see it is that grit is a muscle that comes with that little voice that says ‘I matter, what I want matters, and let’s go and get on with it.’
Like any other muscle, grit has to get used, and built, over time.
To that end, you can quietly do (the new) you that you’re envisioning, one step at a time.
For example:
You can order that educational course catalogue and look into ways to pay for the class(es).
You can amass those home improvement tools and learn to use them, one at a time.
You can subscribe to the proper magazines or other publications, podcasts, etc. that line up with your goal(s). (finding out how other people did what you want to do means that you don’t have to spend a lot of time proverbially reinventing the wheel)
You can subscribe to the online creative services you need to create the ‘pretty parts’ of the thing you envision. Because a lot of things are more visual nowadays and will continue to be so.
You can order a planner and work out on paper or in a digital calendar how and where you’re going to find it in you to do the damn thing you dream of, and not lose your mind..or your shirt.
That is a taste of what grit looks like.
There might be times when you wish that you didn’t have the hopes and dreams and whatnot that you have, and you wish you had stayed firmly in the ‘comfort zone’ or the ‘fantasy for someday zone’ that you used to have.
That is normal and to be expected. But every time it does happen, that’s when you remind yourself that it’s time to stay on the path you’ve set for yourself. That you can do it. Maybe you need a couple of days to rest, or, to make a pivot if you must, but then you can pick where you’re headed back up again and keep going and keep staying the course and keep living and keep figuring it out until you get to where you’re planning on going. That, too, is what grit looks like.
In the end, when you’ve made your thing (whatever it is) happen, and it has all been ‘worth what it took to get there’ you’ll be grateful that you did the thing (whatever it was), and for everything that you learned along the way, starting with that you didn’t listen to Person X that said that you couldn’t or shouldn’t ‘do that’.
The way I see this as well, gratitude is a muscle, too. Every day, there is something to be grateful for, and noticing those things you are grateful for works that muscle. Even if it is the little things that get noticed. Especially the little things that most take for granted. Like coffee that is at the ‘just right’ temperature. Or the hot water that didn’t run out while you were in the shower. Or the antics of your pets when they do something adorable, instead of something naughty. Or your kids bringing you a pretty flower. Or the unexpected generosity of a stranger. I could go on, but you get the idea.
Any way you look at it, if you are bound and determined to get from Point A (where you are starting from) to Point Z (the desired completion of your project, goal, or what have you) without giving up, then you have grit on the inside. If you are grateful for those things that help you along the way, no matter how small they may seem, and you remember to thank the Universe for them, even silently, then you are practising gratitude on the inside. In due course, the world will notice, and you will get to where you are aiming to go.
For now, that is all.
Talk again soon,
Deb
How marvelous. Subscribed!
What an absolutely beautiful, sensible post. Thanks for sharing Lisa.