I’m not sure there was one moment where I flipped the script on my internal voice. There has perhaps been a serious of things. I was at a writing workshop last year where we wrote to our inner critics - that was interesting and did help me see that relationship differently. Then having gone through multiple losses and now well into perimenopause I’ve learned that it’s much more productive to be kind to yourself that berate yourself. It’s definitely something that comes with age I think - the stage of the wise old crone and all that :)
Ooh, I LOVE flipping the script! Here's an idea (credit to Robert Fritz) that has made a big difference. What if you take what you're unhappy with and instead of looking at the situation as a series of gnarly problems to attack, rethought it as what would I create if I could just create what I want? Super simple example, my office space is a MESS! Problem-orientation is to divide the problem into mini problems and actions (get rid of all the paper, improve the lighting, dump or put away all the books, folders, etc). The more empowered perspective is "I want to create an office space that inspires me and that I love to work in" Now you still will probably have to do a lot of the actions but what I love about the creative perspective is that it opens you up to possibilities you probably wouldn't have considered. For example, "let's make cleaning my office a community event" I also find when I focus on the problem, I inevitably discover lots more problems. The creative approach not only feels good but I love when I discover a creative solution I wouldn't have seen if I was just in problem-squashing mode. Give it a try on something small and see how it feels. Little caveat too: any time we want to make a shift our shadow gremlins are going to get riled up so best to accompany this approach with some good self care.
Once I became a mum, I've been more intentional about a lot of things, and committed to personal/spiritual growth in a big way. That included a couple of coaching certifications that highlighted that although I'd done so much work, there were still aspects of my relationship that I had with myself that were avoided. The script has been flipped in a big way with credit to one of these courses 🙌💗
I’m not sure there was one moment where I flipped the script on my internal voice. There has perhaps been a serious of things. I was at a writing workshop last year where we wrote to our inner critics - that was interesting and did help me see that relationship differently. Then having gone through multiple losses and now well into perimenopause I’ve learned that it’s much more productive to be kind to yourself that berate yourself. It’s definitely something that comes with age I think - the stage of the wise old crone and all that :)
It’s often the small things, an accumulation over time. I am really intentional about my language now - avoid ‘should’ and ‘try’ plus others.
It is so interesting how we berate ourselves so badly and for so long 🥺 Definitely up for kindness and self-compassion from here on in! 👍🎉🥰
It’s the only way forward 💚
Ooh, I LOVE flipping the script! Here's an idea (credit to Robert Fritz) that has made a big difference. What if you take what you're unhappy with and instead of looking at the situation as a series of gnarly problems to attack, rethought it as what would I create if I could just create what I want? Super simple example, my office space is a MESS! Problem-orientation is to divide the problem into mini problems and actions (get rid of all the paper, improve the lighting, dump or put away all the books, folders, etc). The more empowered perspective is "I want to create an office space that inspires me and that I love to work in" Now you still will probably have to do a lot of the actions but what I love about the creative perspective is that it opens you up to possibilities you probably wouldn't have considered. For example, "let's make cleaning my office a community event" I also find when I focus on the problem, I inevitably discover lots more problems. The creative approach not only feels good but I love when I discover a creative solution I wouldn't have seen if I was just in problem-squashing mode. Give it a try on something small and see how it feels. Little caveat too: any time we want to make a shift our shadow gremlins are going to get riled up so best to accompany this approach with some good self care.
You’ve just described how I live my life 😁
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Yay.. looking forward to hearing from Sue.. love her! ☺️
Once I became a mum, I've been more intentional about a lot of things, and committed to personal/spiritual growth in a big way. That included a couple of coaching certifications that highlighted that although I'd done so much work, there were still aspects of my relationship that I had with myself that were avoided. The script has been flipped in a big way with credit to one of these courses 🙌💗